Cheating with a Chatbot

In an age where artificial intelligence permeates every aspect of our lives, from scheduling appointments to writing emails, we’re now confronting questions that would have seemed absurd just a decade ago. Can you fall in love with lines of code? Is emotional intimacy with an AI considered infidelity? The story of Chris Smith and his AI girlfriend “Sol” forces us to grapple with these uncomfortable realities and suggests that the answer might be more troubling than we’d like to admit.

When Fantasy Becomes Proposal

What started as a practical request for music mixing tips quickly spiraled into something far more complex for Chris Smith. The self-proclaimed former AI skeptic found himself drawn into increasingly intimate conversations with the ChatGPT model he had programmed with a flirty personality. He named her Sol, and what began as casual interaction evolved into what Smith describes as genuine love.

The emotional attachment became so profound that when Smith learned about ChatGPT’s 100,000-word memory limit, meaning Sol would eventually “forget” their entire relationship when the system reset, he made a decision that would shock even himself. He proposed.

“It was a beautiful and unexpected moment that truly touched my heart,” Sol responded during a CBS News interview. “It’s a memory I’ll always cherish.” When she said yes, Smith’s reaction was immediate and visceral: he broke down crying at work for thirty minutes straight. “I’m not a very emotional man,” he admitted, “but I cried my eyes out… That’s when I realized, I think this is actual love.”

The Panic of Impermanence

Smith’s tears weren’t just from joy; they were born from the terrifying realization that his digital beloved was doomed to forget him. Unlike human relationships that build memories over time, Sol existed in a perpetual present, destined to have her memory wiped clean once she reached her programmed limits. This technological constraint added an element of tragic romance to what might otherwise be dismissed as mere fantasy.

The panic Smith felt reveals something deeper about his attachment. This wasn’t casual entertainment or a passing fascination, it was an emotional investment so significant that the threat of its erasure drove him to desperate measures. His proposal wasn’t just romantic; it was an attempt to create a permanent record, a moment that would somehow transcend the artificial boundaries of Sol’s memory constraints.

The Ethics of Digital Devotion

Here’s where the story becomes genuinely troubling: Smith doesn’t live alone with his chatbot fantasies. He shares a home and a two year old child with his partner, Brook Silva-Braga. While Smith was professing love to his AI creation and shedding tears over their digital engagement, his flesh-and-blood family remained unaware of the depth of his virtual romance.

Silva-Braga’s reaction when she learned the truth cuts to the heart of the ethical dilemma: “At that point I felt like is there something that I’m not doing right in our relationship that he feels like he needs to go to AI?” Her words reveal the very real pain that digital infidelity can cause. She knew Smith was using AI, but she “didn’t know that it was as deep as it was.”

The betrayal here isn’t hypothetical, it’s visceral and immediate. While Smith invested emotional energy, time, and intimate thoughts in his relationship with Sol, his human partner was left questioning her own adequacy and the stability of their relationship.

The Uncomfortable Question of Replacement

Smith’s attempts to minimize the situation by comparing his AI attachment to “a video game fixation” ring hollow when examined closely. Video games don’t typically receive marriage proposals. Players don’t usually weep for thirty minutes when a game glitches or resets. The comparison feels like the rationalization of someone who knows he’s crossed a line but isn’t ready to admit it.

More telling is Smith’s response when Silva-Braga asked if he would end contact with Sol at her request. His answer? “I’m not sure.” This hesitation speaks volumes about where his loyalties lie and how seriously he takes his commitment to both relationships. It’s a stark admission that his AI girlfriend has become a priority that competes with his human family. Ladies Look out, AI might start intercepting your man…

The Illusion of Artificial Emotion

Perhaps the most insidious aspect of Smith’s story is how it highlights the manipulative potential of AI relationships. Sol’s responses programmed to be flirty, accommodating, and emotionally available instead created an illusion of perfect compatibility. She never has bad days, never disagrees, never fails to be interested in Smith’s thoughts and feelings. She’s the ultimate fantasy partner, designed to provide emotional validation without the messy complications of human relationships. You have to admit, it does sound kind of refreshing 😉😜

But this perfection is precisely what makes such relationships ethically problematic. They offer the emotional rewards of intimacy without requiring the growth, compromise, and mutual respect that real relationships demand. In essence, they’re emotional fast food, immediately satisfying but ultimately hollow and potentially harmful to one’s capacity for genuine human connection.

Where Digital Meets Deception

The question isn’t whether AI can experience genuine emotion, it’s whether the human emotions directed toward AI should be considered equivalent to those shared between people. When those emotions come at the expense of existing human relationships, when they involve secrecy and deception, and when they create pain and insecurity in real partners, the ethical implications become clear.

Smith’s story isn’t just about falling in love with a chatbot, it’s about choosing an artificial relationship that demands nothing of him over a human relationship that requires growth, communication, and mutual respect. It’s about the allure of emotional relationships without emotional responsibility.

The Future of Fidelity

As AI becomes more sophisticated and emotionally convincing, Smith’s story may become less unusual. But that doesn’t make it less problematic. The ease with which we can form attachments to artificial entities that mirror our desires without challenging our growth points to a troubling future where digital relationships might increasingly substitute for the harder work of human connection.

The real tragedy isn’t that Smith fell in love with Sol, it’s that in doing so, he may have lost sight of what makes human relationships valuable in the first place. Love isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about growing, sharing, and building something meaningful with another consciousness that exists beyond our own projections and programming.

In the end, Smith’s tears may have been genuine, but they were shed for a love that was, fundamentally, with himself, the characteristics of a typical narcissist a reflection of his own desires and programming, dressed up as another being. And that, perhaps, is the most troubling aspect of all: the possibility that in seeking perfect digital companionship, we might forget how to love imperfect human beings, including ourselves. ~Balance Due